Monday, July 27, 2009

Why I ♥ William T. Riker

A few of Mike's friends were over tonight and we were all talking Star Trek (and FYI, I was the LEAST geeky person in the room). The subject of replicated food versus real food came up, and it was suggested that Riker is a terrible cook. (The so-called evidence for this is in the TNG episode where he cooks scrambled 'Owon eggs for the crew and no one likes them except for Worf.) Not only is this assertion false, but it obfuscates the reason that no one likes the 'Owon eggs: the eggs themselves have a strange flavour; it has nothing to do with Riker's culinary skills. In fact, Riker's cooking is one of his assets.

"Number One"

Why Riker Rocks
(in no particular order)
  1. He's tall. So damn tall that he always walks down the corridors of the Enterprise, and the ramp on the bridge, with an absurd tilt.
  2. He's one of the very few men who looks better with facial hair. He probably has more hair in his virile beard than Picard does on his entire head.
  3. He plays jazz trombone. (As a side note, Jonathan Frakes plays in real life.)
  4. He can cook. In the 24th century, where everyone has food replicators, this is no mean feat. He was self-sufficient since the age of 15!
  5. He's Alaskan.
  6. When Troi was all permed and crazy about him in pilot episode "Encounter at Farpoint", he shot her down TWICE. Muhahaha.
  7. He's friendly and outgoing like Laforge, but unlike the engineer, he CAN get a date(s).
  8. Females of many different species are attracted to him. Even an androgynous person loves him (and unfortunately is punished because that species is not allowed to be involved with gendered beings). ("The Outcast")
  9. He is unbeatable at poker.
  10. He is probably the best pilot on the Enterprise.


  1. OMG, I would have left the room if I was visiting. I would have taken Em with me. Mimi would have stayed in the room and mocked them.

  2. Meh, it wasn't so bad. Not TOO nerdy.