Friday, May 22, 2009

Words and phrases that I wish would die

  1. "Rock the __ " - You know this one. People say it when they mean that they are good at something, or that they do a particular thing very well. I read/hear it everywhere. If you make a good batch of cookies, apparently you "rock the oatmeal cookies". You "rock the new do" if you get a nice haircut. Every time I see the "nothing to hide" beer commercial, I want the guy who says he "rocks the proposal" to die a million horrible deaths, like Prometheus chained to the rock. Unless you're being ironic or literal, please do not say that you "rock" anything. Shareef don't like it.

  2. "Literally" - I hate it when people use it to mean "figuratively". Has any other word in the English language come to mean, through misuse, its direct opposite? The next time you hear someone say that they literally died of fright, or literally ate a horse, please remind them gently that they literally did not.

  3. "Mompreneur" - Is this supposed to be cute? It's just annoying. Normally I like portmanteaus, but this one's trying too hard. I think it's great that moms, especially stay-at-home moms, are finding all these creative and avant-garde ways to make money, but I'd much rather call myself an entrepreneur than a mompreneur.

  4. "Yes, dear" - Right, cause we know all wives are harpies and all husbands are brow-beaten into submission. People who think this is funny or clever probably also think the same of Everybody Loves Raymond.

  5. "Begs the question" - I was twigged to add this to the list because I just read it (in something that the hubby wrote, no less). I think that 99% of the time that I read/hear it, it's used incorrectly. People always use it to mean, "leads to more questions" or "leads to a further line of questioning". Well, folks, as anyone who has taken even a basic logic or philosophy course knows, that is WRONG! To "beg the question" is to engage in circular reasoning.

    Wrong example: "The suspect claimed he had an alibi, which begs the question, why did he resist arrest?"

    Correct example: "'God created the world. The world includes nature. Only God can create beautiful things in nature. Beautiful things exist in nature; therefore, God created the world.' This is called begging the question."

    Our Vulcan friend would agree that begging the question is highly illogical. Sigh. Why does almost everything on this blog seem to come back to Spock?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Star Trek: A Response (spoilers)

For the record, I am NOT a Trekkie. Far from it. Yes, I watched it twice already and yes, I teared up at the beginning again when Kirk dies, and yes, I still think that the two leading men are hot stuff. The second time around, I didn't notice Nurse Chapel (sorry!) but I did catch Uhura's first name when Spock muttered it.

One thing's for sure: I sure DO want those cute Starfleet outfits. I would rock that shit hardcore!

Now,the nitty-gritty:

1. Uhura/Spock.
Absolutely 100% spot-on with this one. I think that we were both like "nuh-uh-shut that down!" during the movie. AS IF! I can understand Uhura pining for Spock - what normal female wouldn't? But for those feelings to be reciprocated AND acted upon by Spock? NOOOOOOO. Especially not with his hand on her tushie!

2. Spock shows Scotty the equation that future Scotty invents. Yes, I know there is precedence for this flagrant timeline pollution, but coming from Spock?
Why not coming from Spock? Not only is he a genius, but he's also from an alternate reality where the equation may be as well-known to engineers as pie crust recipes are to pastry chefs. Haha. Shit. And he's saving "the only planet he's got left" (Earth) so who cares?

3. Sulu says he is trained in "fencing" but instead busts out some martial arts moves on the drill. Maybe he wanted to surprise Kirk with his skillz.
IMHO, this was not an improbable scenario. Well, he did use a big sword. The dude's Azn--- whaddya know, he's well-versed in martial arts! He can probably play a kickass game of MJ too - no KFC, of course.

4. Kirk is promoted from CADET to CAPTAIN. Of the Enterprise, the Starfleet flagship. Fine, so he helped destroy Nero et. al. and save Earth. What happened to giving people medals?
I would say that due the fact that Captain Pike bestowed him with the honour of First Commander to Spock's Captain, especially when he wasn't even supposed to be on the ship at all says something about his faith in Kirk's capabilities. And, he kicked ass both on Spock's simulation test *and* kicked some Romulan ass while in charge, more that proves that he is worthy of the title. Besides, Pike is in a wheelchair at the end of the movie anyway so why wouldn't Kirk continue on as Captain? Spock is too busy making sweet love to Uhura to be of any use as captain.

5. My fave: Spock knows where the Federation outpost on the ice planet is, but instead of heading straight to it to ask for help when Nero leaves him there to watch Vulcan implode, he decides to hide out in a cave. WHY, SPOCK, WHY.
Why? Because dude just watched his planet get destroyed, while he was powerless to do anything about it. He was clearly emotionally compromised and took advantage of his human capacity to mourn, moping around in the cave. Who knows if he was really living there for a long time? He could have ran in there for shelter from the snow and wind. Possibly, he was hiding out from that garguantuan crustacean-looking beast that was after Kirk. Of course, he could also have been waiting for that young piece of ass to come running in, seeking refuge from that crustacean beast. Or, he could have been taking a nap.... do Vulcans even sleep?

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Listening to: The Presets- Kitty in the Middle

Monday, May 18, 2009

A few nitpicks about the Star Trek movie (spoilers!)

Sigh. So many things are wrong with the new Star Trek movie. La bohème, who is a fledgling Trekker, has watched it twice now. I wonder what she has to say about it.

Five 'illogical' (or at the very least, highly improbable) moments

  1. Uhura/Spock. No. In the original series, I can buy it, but not here.
  2. Spock shows Scotty the equation that future Scotty invents. Yes, I know there is precedence for this flagrant timeline pollution, but coming from Spock?
  3. Sulu says he is trained in "fencing" but instead busts out some martial arts moves on the drill. Maybe he wanted to surprise Kirk with his skillz.
  4. Kirk is promoted from CADET to CAPTAIN. Of the Enterprise, the Starfleet flagship. Fine, so he helped destroy Nero et. al. and save Earth. What happened to giving people medals?
  5. My fave: Spock knows where the Federation outpost on the ice planet is, but instead of heading straight to it to ask for help when Nero leaves him there to watch Vulcan implode, he decides to hide out in a cave. WHY, SPOCK, WHY.

Honourable mention: Where was Nero hiding for 25 years? (Actually, this is answered in cut scenes. But as is, the movie has a huge loophole in this respect.)

Thursday, May 14, 2009

No more naked fencing

Over the last few weeks, I read a few articles stating that John Cho accepted the part of Hikaru Sulu in the new Star Trek movie because of its masculinity. I couldn't fathom what he meant, but after seeing the movie, I totally get it. Cho must have recognised the dearth of manly roles for Asians in Star Trek. It's funny, because ST has been gutsy and even groundbreaking in many other aspects. Kirk/Uhura shared the first interracial kiss on TV, TNG had an interesting episode on an androgynous species (i.e., definitely a metaphor for homosexuality if you watch the ep), and Data went places you never thought an android could go.

But the hard truth is this: the Asian (East and South Asian) male in Star Trek is always a nerd. Look at the classic Sulu fencing scene. Later incarnations of ST didn't improve things for Asian guys. First, we have Voyager's Harry Kim. He's a big nerd with girlfriend problems. The problem being that he has no gf, because blond Tom Paris gets the ladies. Then, we have DS9's Julian Bashir, who's both a nerd and annoying, AND has an artificially enhanced intellect to boot! And oh yeah, he also has little luck with the ladies.

According to Star Trek, in the future, humanity has rid itself of illness, poverty, war, and a lot of other baddies. Yet somehow Asian guys are still science nerds who can't get a date.

When Cho's Sulu tells Kirk that he's trained in fencing, it's for comic effect. I think I might have groaned a little. But it was a trick! Those sneaky screenwriters. Amazingly, this Sulu actually does get to be an action hero, killing a few Romulans and saving Kirk's ass. And to that I say qapla!